These are but a few of the memorable quotes from the online In Nomine 
game: "Don't Get Caught!" This game follows a trio of demons trying 
to thwart Fate, avoid the angels, and have Fun. 


********************************************************************
From Session #1

* Zha`an walks - exercise is flesh, and flesh is gross, but 
familiarity could mean survival.


* Amariah chats up the seneschal. ["How's life? Still infertile? 
Good... good..."]


* Diamante goes "..." at Zha'an. .oO(Oh, great. *Shedite*.)
* Zha`an wavies with a tongue.
* Amariah goes "..." at Diamante. .oO(Oh yay, a *daughter* of 
Lilith.)
<Diamante> .oO(... [sigh])


<GM> You head down the Tether, rather like Alice down the rabbit 
hole.  You emerge in, of course, the Basement.  Some bored and angry 
looking Djinn watch you emerge.  There is a door off to one side 
covered with signs reading "Actung!  Beware!  Abandon hope!  Do not 
enter!  Eat at your own danger!"
<Amariah> [are we in hell yet?]


* Amariah gracefully slides himself out of the elevator. "The day is 
mine, elevator, but we shall meet again... you were a worthy 
adversary."
<GM> The Elevator makes a smug retreat downstairs.
<Amariah> .oO(Ha, sucker, I won't be back...)


<Balseraph Angelporn Salesman> "We have naked Laurence art! NAKED 
LAURENCE art!"
<Diamante> [over his shoulder] "Try me when you get *photos*, 
mmmkay?"
<Balseraph Angelporn Salesman> "Better than photos!  BETTER!" [...he 
sounds desperate.]


* Amariah admires the art.
<GM> The art admires Amariah back as modern art is wont to do.


* Zha`an snags the Crime and Punishment.
* Zha`an starts paging through, giggling to himself, his gelatinous 
form rippling.
<Zha`an> "The ball!  His groin!  It works on so many levels!"


<Amariah> "...Any specific Fate servitors we should be wary of?"
<Kobal> "Yep.  Any of 'em."
* Kobal winks.
<Amariah> "Ah, of course."


* Zha`an makes the closest to a "call me" gesture at the secretary as 
he can with... no fingers.......


* Amariah decides now is the perfect time to deliver the typical 
lilim greeting line. "Well, I've met many daughters of Lilith, but 
you are surely her most perfect creation."
* Jesse goes "..." at Amariah. .oO(...)


<GM> [She doesn't manage to resist your coy tentacular wiles, 
Zha'an.]
<Zha`an> [I'm irressistable.]


* Ambrosius avoids making eyecontact with Jesse.
* Zha`an does likewise....
<Jesse> .oO(My, they're learning fast.)


* Jesse peers at the gameboy to see what she's playing. Offers 
helpful tips.
* Thalia blinks at Jesse. "...But I don't want Pikachu to love me." 


* Ambrosius clicks on the cd player. "Do you both like classical?"
* Ambrosius starts pulling out, the stereo kicks alive, nice strings 
start playing, before a choir shouts: "HALLELUJAH..."
* Ambrosius then clicks the cd player off. "Well, maybe that's not 
quite appropriate..."


<Ambrosius> [do I get a secretary? Is she gone?]
<GM> [She's gone for the day.]
<Ambrosius> "Good lord, Debbie's been kidnapped."


* Ambrosius sets the bag on the desk. "This is how I envision this 
happening..."


<Ambrosius> "It should give you enough info to guess... or at least 
identify if someone is harmless. Don't worry, you have us working 
with you."
* Jesse valiantly resists the urge to say, "That's why I'm worried."


<Ambrosius> "But anyway, who's gonna notice?"
<GM> [puts that on list of "Famous last words".]


<Ambrosius> "Wait, don't speak..."
<Ambrosius> "...I just got the greatest idea."


<Ambrosius> "We could simply write them a note, but that lacks a 
certain flair..."
* Jesse mutters, "Stalk the people leaving the TSE?"
<Ambrosius> "Do they wear nametags at the TSE?"


<Ambrosius> "I've got an idea..."


<Ambrosius> "Hmm... or... Shedite, you could possess a worker at the 
TSE, and you could try to find THE Matt Wallace. You up to it? High 
Risk, High Pay?"
<Jesse> "And say what, you're offering free psychological counselling 
to guys named 'Matthew'?"


<Jesse> "..."
<Jesse> "..."
<Jesse> "/.../"
<Ambrosius> "What's the matter with you? Say something."
<Jesse> "..."


<Ambrosius> "So... what should we do? Let's put it to a nice 
democratic vote."
<Zha`an> "Hey, I'm the only one whose vote for "send the Shedite" 
gets any weight - capice?"


<Ambrosius> "Of course... we could alternatively find some Trade 
servitor and let him know Fate has some cruel plans in store for 
Wallace."
<Jesse> "...and how do you plan to do *that* without getting killed?"
<Ambrosius> "Discreetly."
<Jesse> .oO(And the Malakite shows up to work wearing a new 
Balseraph-hide jacket...)
<EvilGM> [Mmm, shiny purple vest.]


<Ambrosius> "At most, some Mercurian will notice one of us doesn't 
keep good company."
<Jesse> "Or, y'know, notice *that we come from Hell*."


<Zha`an> "We have a plan...... that requires us to call on /Media/ - 
not Angels - /MEDIA/....... and doesn't require us to go /anywhere 
near the tether/.... nah, I'd MUCH rather approach some potential 
Malakite...."
<Ambrosius> "High risk, high pay."
<Zha`an> "No - high risk, high risk.  No pain, no pain."


* Ambrosius picks up the phone. "Debbie? I want to dial out... 
Debbie?"
<EvilGM> Debbie does not respond, as she is not in the office. ^^
* Ambrosius hangs his phone back up. "Hold all my calls, Debbie."
<Zha`an> [Why does Ambrosius remind me so much of Zaphod Beeblebrox?]


<Elly> "Uh-huH!  Give your co-workers a kiss from me!"
<Jesse> "...I'll pass, I think, one's a Shedite."


<Ambrosius> "The radio message isn't as good as the 'portrait with a 
secret message' plan..."
<Zha`an> ".....and you have my /blessings/ to /go right ahead with 
that plan/."
* Zha`an takes a symbolic step /back/ from Ambrosius.


<Ambrosius> "We should trust her, but verify."


<Jesse> "Perfect. It'll be me and two other guys - well, a girl and a 
guy. Probably. Three people, at least...anyway." 


<GM> Leaning against the glass doors is a girl.  She's got black 
hair, pulled back into a sloppy ponytail except for her long bangs 
which frame her face artistically.  She's wearing perfect makeup and 
has a huge TV-smile, but is wearing casual clothing - Jeans, and a 
pink T-shirt with, in curly, heart-ridden sparkly writing, "I hate 
myself and want to die!!"
<GM> She's in her mid-twenties and kind of very busty.
<Ambrosius> [...I love you, GM.]


<Zha`an> "Building our plan around the /wrong guy/ would suck..... 
though the Boss'd laugh pretty hard as he This-Island-Earth'ed us to 
death......"


<Ambrosius> .oO(This is giving me another fabulous idea...)
<Ambrosius> [Plan 1: I shall title it: "Death of a Shedite"...]


* Elly hums quietly to herself, pushing some of her bangs back with a 
hand as she leans over the papers. Her breasts threaten to fall out 
of her shirt for a moment.] 
<Zha`an> [Fly free, little mammaries!]


<Ambrosius> "...*Love* your shirt. I can't stop staring at it."
* Elly glances down at where the writing is streched over her 
breasts.
* Elly looks back up. She says, perky, "Thanks!"


<Elly> "Adapt to film? Oooh! I'm getting shivers!" 
<Jesse> "Good shivers?"
<Elly> "The best kind, Jessekins."


* Zha`an most emphatically flips Elly the bird on the way out.
* Zha`an withdraws her arm quickly, and scrambles for the car, 
giggling loudly.
* Ambrosius turns back to them. "So sorry! She's having involuntary 
muscle spasms recently!"


<Zha`an> "Most shedim are born without assholes, so we have to do 
what we can with the ones we borrow."


<Ambrosius> "I have the perfect plan..."
* Jesse twitches.
<Ambrosius> "Oh, stop it."


<Ambrosius> "Step 3: Convince him his writing is *good*."
<Jesse> "Mmm-hmmm..." .oO(Not too bad so far...)
<Ambrosius> "Step 4: ...let him in on what our True natures are."
<Jesse> .oO(...spoke too soon.)
<GM> Thunder crashes ominously.


* Ambrosius stops at a stop light, and delivers the master part of 
the plan. "That we're angels, and God himself has ordained him to 
publish his work, for the good of humanity."
<GM> ["And then we show him the Shedite in Cel form to prove it!"]


<Ambrosius> "Why don't we stop, relax, and get something to eat? I'll 
give you all a Free Lunch."
* Jesse eyes Ambrosius.


<Ambrosius> "The Boss? Setting us up to fail? Perish."
<Ambrosius> .oO(It *would* explain why a Free Lilim of all things is 
involved...)


* Jesse grins at Thak. "I'd like a Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against 
the Wall - and while you're at it, a drink'd be nice." [wink]


<GM> Zha'an, Alice is truly shocked.
<Zha`an> Good thing she has her two good friends (She's known them 
for...... for...... for...... well, she knows them, she's sure....) 
to complain to!


<Ambrosius> "No, I'd say he deserves some sort of punishment. Let's 
sneak up later and drain all the fluid out of his body."


<Ambrosius> "Any buffalo wings back there?"
<Thak_the_Barbarian> "Myep. Ripped them off the buffalos myself this 
morning." He flexes.  "You want some?"
<Ambrosius> "No, I merely wanted to see you flex. Thanks."


<Ambrosius> "Have a seat with us, Chap.  My name is Arthur B. 
Wonderful. But you can call me 'Mr. Wonderful'."
<Zha`an> [kisses Ambrosius' shoes]


* Thak_the_Barbarian takes Ambrosius's hands. "Mr. Wonderful, you've 
truly... thank you. You are the kindest human being I've ever met."
* Ambrosius shrugs. "I'm Mr. Wonderful, what can I say?"


<Jesse> .oO(Hey, lesbians are always good!)


From Session #2

* Jesse doesn't have to worry about Kobalite Dissonance. He's just in 
it for the Funniness.
<GM> [And to get laid.]


* Ambrosius is wondering why he couldn't have been assigned with some 
fanatical Habbalite and a sexy Impudite.
* Jesse is sexy! And reasonably close to Impudite...
<Alice|Z> [/me is seeeeeeeexy............... *drips all over floor*]


<Ambrosius> "We won't get caught. They won't even know we're there."


* Jesse eyes Ambrosius. "But you're *really* not her type. Trust me."
* Ambrosius blinks. "...what makes you say that?"
* Jesse 's lips twitch. "She doesn't like snakes that much, for 
one..."


<GM> He Needs to have hot sweaty sex with Elly.
<Jesse> .oO(That's one Need he'll *never* get if *I* can help 
it...)


<Alucard|Z> "Dear Lady, I'm truly sorry."
* Alice wipes at her eyes, distraught. "No.. it's not YOUR fault..."
* Alucard|Z reaches forward and tries to sieze the hem of Alice's 
skirt, and yank it up as high as possible.


<GM> You make it out to the parking lot, leaving lots of mayhem 
behind you.
<GM> Evil sons'a'bitches.


<Ambrosius> "I've been thinking..."
* Jesse twitches.


<Ambrosius> "You know, I think our luck tonight was because of the 
tie. Doesn't it exude power and manliness?"
<GM> Mr. Spock is unimpressed.


<Alucard|Z> " .....................hello, Elly.  I'm a morose goth.  
What do you want."
<Elly> "..............Wow." 


<Alucard|Z> "It was glooorious.... the pathetic forces of light shook 
before the Sentinels of the Dark, and the echos were heard as far 
north as the city centre.  Truly, the mighty of the mighty brought 
their arcane forces to bear, for they shook heaven and earth to be 
heard so far distant."
<Jesse> .oO(Sounds like a comic book.)
<GM> ["The Adventures of DrippyDrip and his intrepid companions, 
Lilimboy and Balbaby!"]


<Alucard|Z> "For all we know, it's Malakite-magnet dust....."
<GM> ["Sticks to any Malakite!  Makes any Malakite stick to you!  
Lilim get 10% discounts on purchase!"]


<Elly> "Anywayyyy.... Mmmm, love you, tongue-kisses!" [makes over-
caffinated phone-licking noises.]


<Alucard|Z> ".... There was a young woman from Exeter?"
<Alucard|Z> ".....so lovely young men craned their necks at her!"
<Alucard|Z> "One was even so brave as to take out and wave"
<Alucard|Z> "The distinguishing mark of his sex at her!"
* Alucard|Z gives a big dopey grin.
<Ambrosius> "...I give it a 3."


<Ambrosius> "...shedite, did you leave those erasers with Alice?"
<Alucard|Z> ".........maybe!"
* Alucard|Z makes a show of checking his pockets.
<Alucard|Z> ".............yes."
<Alucard|Z> "But we still have the baguette!"


<GM> Zha'an, Alucard feels that nobody understands his deep, inner 
pain.
<Zha'an> [What, his un-performed plays, measly un-sports-ly form, 
Star Trek micro-machines collection, and unrelenting virginity?]
<GM> Yes, those.


<Alucard|Z> "Hmmmm?  I am infused with with the Darkness that is the 
Truth, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the fact that girls 
won't go out with me.  Why?"


<Ambrosius> "Tell me, Alucard... do you know anyone who needs 
psychiatric help?"
<Ambrosius> "I'm assuming YES, several times over."
<Jesse> .oO(After long enough with the Shedite? He can add *himself* 
to that list. 'Several times over'.)


<Alucard|Z> "Because, you know, Demon Princes and their servitors are 
always /perfect/, /virtuous/ allies who're /completely/ open and 
trustworthy, right?"


Session #3:

* Ambrosius follows Jesse, after making sure his car is sufficiently 
locked.
<Jesse> ['sufficiently locked'? What, do you have chains on the doors 
or somethin'? ^^]


* Jesse leads the way, grinning at people he recognizes and dripping 
just a *bit*.
<GM> It's 6:45. Nobody smiles back.
* Jesse is an Evil Morning Person, they must think.


* Jesse is a fast reader. Very fast. Ambrosius may not be able to 
follow.
* Ambrosius could match Jesse's reading anyday.


<GM> [Oh, and Alucard? You are now a very wet goth.  Students 
are starting to arrive and giving you pitying looks.  They don't 
understand your suffering.]
<Alucard|Zhaan> [No one does.]
<Alucard|Zhaan> [This is somehow Tommy's mom's fault, I'm sure.]
* Alucard|Zhaan stews on this as he stands and smokes. He smokes more 
quickly and heavilly - that'll show her!


<GM> You find the Wet Shedite smoking clove cigarettes angstily under 
an awning.


* Ambrosius smiles. .oO(I WILL SEE THESE PEOPLE *DEAD*, AND IN 
*HELL*!)


<Ambrosius> "What's more important... is that I think we should be 
wary of the Daughter."
<Alucard|Zhaan> "Dude, the Daughter didn't try to fit me for a 
Soldier shell.  He's gonna hafta come up with something *special* to 
match that."


<Ambrosius> "We have three options... we can check out his office, 
phone Elly, or run like bitches."


<Livia|Zha`an> "I could just be a concerned student, checking in on 
her prof."
<Ambrosius> "How nice of you to bravely volunteer yourself."
<Livia|Zha`an> "Be nearby.  Please."


* Jesse backs up. Is one with the shadows. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm...


* Livia|Zha`an gives the door a push, to swing it open, and stands as 
close to the side as possible.
<Ambrosius> [you see... Asmodeus! "Trick or treat." *blam!*]


From Session 4:

<GM> It's one of those "Even idiots can mod this computer" computers. 


* Jesse murmurs to Ambrosius, "You're the...*persuasive* one. You 
want to follow if they show up, and I'll keep watch out here?" 
<Ambrosius> "...and what am I supposed to tell them? 'Nothing to see 
here'?" 
<GM> ["This is not the corpse you are looking for."] 


* Jesse then quirks an eyebrow at *Livia*. "What, can't deal with 
female hormones?" [smirk] 
<Livia|Zha`an> "Fucking flesh." 


<Ambrosius> "...you didn't leave any more of the Boss' equipment 
in Alucard, did you? "
* Jesse pauses. *Stares* at Ambrosius. Then starts laughing to himself 
at how horribly he misparsed that. 


<Ambrosius> "All we have to do... is disconnect everything from my 
secretary's computer, and attach it to McDonald's computer..." 
<Ambrosius> "...and maybe get that paperclip out." 


<Ambrosius> "And Elly is... what? In mortal peril? When will she 
be over that?" 
* Jesse looks up at Ambrosius. [*dry*] "Hopefully soon, without 
getting killed?" 


<Jesse> "No, we can lurk in my dorm." 
<Jesse> .oO(They're used to me bringing people in there at all 
hours anyway.) 
<Jesse> .oO(Though I'm *not* killing time by fucking the Shedite.) 


<Livia|Zha`an> [/me splits the party again. ;)] 
<GM> [Quite all right. I'm GLAD if you split the party. ^_^] 
<Livia|Zha`an> [.......................................
.........[quivers.]] 


<Ambrosius> "So... which human have you enjoyed most, shedite?" 
* Jesse goes "/.../". Horribly misparses that. Twitches. 
<Ambrosius> "The cute innocent little girl, Alice, Alucard, or 
this poor woman?" 
<Livia|Zha`an> "They're all......... /special/...... in their own 
repulsive way." 


<GM> [It's actually a sword, except that it's a baguette] 


<Jesse> [See? There are *good* points about being occasionally dumb 
enough to squirt yourself in the face with a Kobalite pen. ^^] 


<Jesse> "...and there're the sirens. Must've found McDonald." 
<Yvonnette> "...ah, yes. We'll be dispatching a team shortly to hound 
the police."


* Ambrosius is back and is reviewing Mister Johnson's file. [What 
problems does he have? What was his childhood like?] 
<GM> [He apparently had a perfectly ordinary childhood, but he is 
bizarrely convinced that his family's trying to assassinate him. His 
most recent complaint is that since his Thanksgiving dinner gave him 
stomach cramps, they clearly attempted to poison him.] 
<Ambrosius> .oO(diagnosis: utter lunatic.) 


<Ambrosius> [...what if we get double infernal intervention? :D] 
<GM> [Then Asmodeus appears and bends you over the desk.] 


<Johnson> "Move past. Move past my mind. Past. Past. Past. Past." 
* Johnson's cheek twitches. 
<Ambrosius> .oO(I've destroyed his brain...) 


<Ambrosius> "I've become too powerful for my own good... you'll have 
to destroy me... for the good of mankind..." 
<Ambrosius> "Remember what happened with Thak? I just completely 
mindfucked my 3:00 patient... it's such a *burden*." 
<Ambrosius> "I don't know what to do with him! He's sitting in the room 
jibbering to himself." 


<Jesse> [hangs up] 
<Ambrosius> "...son of a bitch." 
<Jesse> [<Lilith> "*Ahem*."] 


<Ambrosius> "Hello again! Mr. Johnson! So nice to see you, I CERTAINLY 
don't have any plans to kill you..." 


* Ambrosius keeps talking to himself, and his tie. "What do you think, Spock?" 
<GM> The tie does not respond. 


<GM> Right. She Needs a hug/1 
<Jesse> I'm gonna give her the hug, at least, when she comes over. 
Poor poor Elly... 
<GM> Gonna claim the hook? 
<Jesse> ...yes.


* Elly shrugs at Jesse like, 'Oh yeah, didn't you see the good hair?' 
<GM> Except without the outloud part. 


<GM> "Override Granted O Lord" appears on the screen in Helltongue. 
<Jesse> .oO(I *knew* Microsoft was Tech.) 


* Jesse glances at Am. "Oh. Hey." [to Allen] "That's the one with 
the paperclip." 
* Allen pauses. He considers shooting Ambrosius for just this reason. 


* Allen sighs regretfully and puts the bubblegun away. 
<Ambrosius> "...you are?" 
* Allen says, "Useful."


* Allen gives Ambrosius this insulted look. "You, my good sir, 
committed rape upon this machine. With a paperclip." 


* Allen blinks at the porn. 
<GM> "It's not a bug," he explains to the air. "It's a feature." 


* Ambrosius follows Allen, and chats him up. "So... in reality, 
what is that harmless looking bubble gun?" 
<Allen> "Do you not recognize a matter destabalizing construct relating 
to the abstract etherbounderies for superidegoidentification?" 


* Allen then returns to the truck, smiling smugly. .oO(I won.) 
* Ambrosius looks for Zha'an. .oO(He thinks he won, the fool...) 


<GM> You can hear a faint scream through the wall. 
<GM> [Amb? You were wrong about the dieroller not rolling Divine 
Interventions.] 


* Elly keeps screaming, managing, painfully, to rip her jacket and shirt 
off. A handprint-bruise forms over her left breast as you watch. 
<Ambrosius> [Hey! Free strip show, on the plus side! ^_^] 


* Livia|Zha`an gives Jesse a wry grin; "You /are/ in service to 
Dark Humour....." 
<Jesse> .oO(I should've taken the fucking transfer.) 


<Ambrosius> "...I just had a fabulous idea." 
<Livia|Zha`an> [SCREAMS!] 
* Jesse twitches. 


* Livia|Zha`an leans in to Jesse, and whispers; 
<Livia|Zha`an> "You okay for a minute while I go use the little 
drippy-cloud's room?" 
* Jesse 's lips twitch into that very *dark*-humor expression. 
"Yeah, I promise not to get angst all over your chair or anything." 


From Session 5:

* Ambrosius has been given free reign over a floor full of sick, 
dying, humans. Ah....


<GM> She turns and blinks at him. You can see that her nametag reads 
"Daye".
<Livia|Zha`an> [Soon to be relieved by "Nyte".]


<Ambrosius> "Don't you trust me?"
<Daye> "Would you, in my position?"
<Ambrosius> "I trust myself every day."


<Daye> "I ask a third time: Have you considered Redemption?"
<Ambrosius> "Have you considered throwing yourself from where Michael 
threw Lucifer?"
<Livia|Zha`an> [Dude, we ain't going toe-to-toe with a Malakite for 
you.  You're funny and all, but DUDE - a MALAKITE.]
<Jesse> [Yeah. Nice line and all, but...*MALAKITE*! ^^;]


* Ambrosius balks. "I er... still have someone I'd like to see, 
here."
<Daye> "Who and why?" 
<Ambrosius> "...well, if you can't tell me what you're intending to 
do, why should I?"
<Daye> "Because I've got hold of your arm?"


* Daye rolls the d666 and gets 1, 1 CD: 1
<Ambrosius> [satan, why have you forsaken me?]


<Ambrosius> "Hell's a nice place, you know.  Except I think there's a 
problem with the air conditioning..."


* Yvonne straightens again after a moment. Her breasts fail to fall 
out of her corset.


* Jesse *nods*. Glances at the door to make sure it's shut, then 
says, quiet but fast - "The Liar called. There's a Virtue in the 
hospital."


* Sally|Zha`an gives a faux-innocent girlish giggle, like the naughty 
nurse she is.


<Sally|Zha`an> "Could we do somewhere slightly /less/ Virtuous?"


* Ambrosius kicks his tires, and checks under the car.
<GM> Things fail to blow up and take his leg with them.


<Ambrosius> "However-- get this, you'll like this-- I'm *honorable*."
<Sally|Zha`an> "Don't use such language!  I'll wash your mouth out 
with soap!  And when your /father/ gets home....."


<GM> Hey, some Vampire Slut costumes are on discount, leftover from 
Halloween...


<Ambrosius> "I *did* try... I told you, she was stronger than the 
average malakite."
<GM> [Yogi Malakite!  Stronger than the aver-age Malakite!]


* Jesse smirks. "Oh, I don't know, you'd make a pretty vest..."
<Ambrosius> "I'm sure you'd make a nice pair of mittens yourself."


<GM> Zha'an, you pop out.
<GM> The boy screams, covering his face and backpedalling.
<GM> "M...MONSTER!  MO..." He screams and claws at his hair.
<Boy> "It's... IT'S IN THAT GIRL!"
<Boy> "IT'S IN HER HEAD!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" He's wild-eyed 
and foaming a bit, his mind not capable of handling this sight.
<GM> the boy screams, "Don't let her get away!  SOMEONE CALL THE 
AUTHORITIES!  CALL THE AUTHORITIES!  CALL THE AUTHORITIES!!"


* Jessie|Zha`an pulls open a door and hops in -
<Jessie|Zha`an> "Hiya.  Drippy-drip.  Let's go - now."


<Ambrosius> "Yes, it'd be better if we're there before the Malakite 
rigs it with explosives."
<GM> [<Daye> "Wrong! I am rigging it with POTTED PLANTS!"]


<Ambrosius> "...what happens to lilim?"
<Jesse> [very dry] "Oh, y'know, the usual. Rape, torture, Malakite 
playthings, put on display - in *cages* - for angels to gawk 
at...assuming you *survive*..."
<Jesse> "...really, it almost sounds like the Game, now that I think 
about it."


<Ambrosius> "I will be making some new additions, at the very least."
<GM> ["Like Malakite laser targetting systems."]
<GM> ["Targets all Malakim!  Balseraphs get 10% discount on 
purchase!"]


<GM> Amb, Jesse: Doesn't seem to be anything in the room.  Though 
admittedly, your potted plant has never looked so menacing.
<GM> It sits , flat leaves waving innocently.
<Ambrosius> [it's plastic. We're safe.]
<GM> [<Plastic Potted Plant> .oO(Ha. I have them all fooled.)]


<Ambrosius> "...this has been a bad day."
<Jesse> "Gee, what tipped you off? Dead McDonald, Elly, the 
Malakite..."
* Jesse sings under his breath, rather offkey, "Old McDonald bought 
the farm, E-I-E-I-O..."


* Jesse opens up danger1.mpg.
<GM> A Malakporn video starts.  Anyone who's seen real Malaks know 
that this one is obviously false.
<GM> ...The wings are all wrong, for one thing.


<GM> Danger two is apparently the second half of danger one. The 
balseraph is wearing more chains and has more things pinning its 
wings to the bed.
<GM> The Lilim is already dead, collapsed across nearby pillows.
<GM> The 'Malakite' is saying things that sound vaguely threatening 
in very kinky Lustie terms.
<GM> It is of course all in Helltongue.


<Jesse> "Yeah." [checks the remaining folders for anything 
Interesting, then closes out if there isn't anything.] "Any other 
plans?"
<Ambrosius> "Plans? Let's go get drunk. We need it after today."


From Session 6:

* Jesse shrugs. "Didn't do *too* bad seperately - except for you 
running into the Virtue..." [lips twitch] 
<Jesse> "In which encounter, *our* presence wouldn't've helped any..." 
<Ambrosius> "Oh, don't underestimate yourself, Jesskins. I'm sure 
your presences would've helped tremendously." 
<Ambrosius> .oO(...by providing extra targets.) 


<Jessie|Zha`an> "The more corrupt, the better - just as long as he 
doesn't do anything that brings a SWAT team down on his head." 
<Jessie|Zha`an> "Especially with me /in/ that head! -_-" 


Jessie|Zha`an rolled the d666: 5 3 CD: 5 
<Jessie|Zha`an> [Y'know, we should really cut that out before we get a DI......] 
<Jesse> [[snerk] "Everything's perfectly, utterly fine. ...oh, and 
there's a knock at the door."] 


<Ambrosius> "Must be nice to have disposable roles, and vessels. Eh?" 
<Jessie|Zha`an> "And I get to - nay /must/ - fuck them up any way 
I can! It's a good life." 


<GM> Jessie is also starting to feel cold. But happy! But cold. She's 
supposedly dressed for cold weather, but she's also a preppy girl, so 
that's slightly less half naked than usual. ^_~ 
<Jessie|Zha`an> She knows she's dressed this way to show off. The cold 
will make her nipples stand out. It's a good thing. 
<GM> .....Ambrosius, Jessie's nipples are SO standing out in this cold. You 
can get, like, a perfect view. Like, perfect. 
* Ambrosius considers latching onto them like a beer tap... but pushes the 
thought out of his mind. 


<Ambrosius> .oO(On the plus side, I got my story presented first... 
on the bad side... I might get destroyed, first.) 


<GM> The room seems to be a large arena of some sort. Strange weapons - 
mainly nerf - are cluttering the place. There are spikes on the walls. 
Everything is brightly coloured in shades of brilliant yellow, red, and blue. 
<GM> There are seats with a huge sign "Wait Here". The i is dotted with 
a happy face 
<Ambrosius> .oO(...oh, *shit*.) 


* Amariah speaks quickly. "Most Dread Prince... the Malakite was a 
result of circumstances completely beyond my control. Really. Innocent 
bad luck." 
<Kobal> "In*deeeeed*. Any other protests or explanations you wish to 
risk? I mean, regester?" 


<Zha`an> "Hey, I have the PERFECT plan!" 
<Amariah> "Nice one. You think that up all by yourself, or did the 
lilim have to help you?" 


<Amariah> "I almost liked your tongue lashing, shedite. I'm sure Lust 
would have a nice job for you." 
<Zha`an> "Nah, there can't be /that/ many Habbies who want /you/ 
shoved up their asses...." 


<Zha`an> "There once was a serpent named Am, 
<Zha`an> "Who dove into jam after jam. 
<Zha`an> "His face needed smashing, 
<Zha`an> "So he got a tongue-lashing, 
<Zha`an> "And now he's in trouble - oh /damn/." 


<Zha`an> "There once was a demonic shrink, 
<Zha`an> "Who kept his peers' lives on the brink. 
<Zha`an> "He said - 'Let's Redeem!' 
<Zha`an> "What a brilliant scheme - 
<Zha`an> "Malakim look so /pretty/ in pink!" 


<Zha`an> "You know best, of course, Boss." 
* Kobal nods. "That's right, I do. And Amariah will be *careful*, 
won't he, my little purple pigmuffin?" he smirks at Amariah. 
* Amariah nods enthusiastically. 


From Session 7:

* Zha`an rolls for Prank... 
<Zha`an> .... a writhing mass of snakes wearing nose-and-mustache 
glasses are reachign up from the bottom of the elevator shaft. They 
have huge peacock feathers in their mouths, with which they are 
tickling the elevator cage. 
<GM> [OH MY GOD, AMARIAH! THERE ARE SNAKES UNDER THE ELEVATOR! AND 
THEY'VE GOT PEACOCK FEATHERS!] 
<Zha`an> [The question is, does the /elevator/ believe it? :P] 


<Zha`an> [If ever it was possible for a Shedite to display a halo, 
this one is now. :P] 


* Amariah turns his attention back to the shiny candy like '?' button. 
<Amariah> "Hmm... the Word of 'Suicide' is taken, isn't it?" 


<Thalia> "Meyers' never been seen fighting; Attin's rarely been seen 
talking. ....and Coranel's rarely been seen." 
<Amariah> ["How Not to be Seen..."] 


<Elly> "Want to pop by our place? If you're reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally lucky, 
I might not have put a shirt on yet!" 


<GM> [And while you're getting your stuff together, switch to the 
button-pushing fools... I mean, PCs.] 
<Amariah> [He's the button pushing fool! Him... I mean, it!] 


GM> A voice floats up from the opened doors several floors down, 
"I hope you're happy! We missed most of Malakite Hunter thanks to you!" 
<Zha`an> [Wow! Look at the bend of his wings - he must be a 20, 25- 
Forc'er! And /crikey/ he's pissed!] 
<GM> ["Let's see if we can touch 'im."] 
<Zha`an> ["See what happens when I prod him with this stick? Damn, 
he'd looove to get at me now!"] 


<Amariah> .oO(I hope it turns out to be some huge distincted demon.... 
otherwise, I'm going to kill it.) 


* Zha`an "leans" against the cage door, letting a couple of tongues 
dangle through it. 
<Jesse> [Zha'an, do you really want part of your body *in* something 
a Vapulan is tinkering with? ^^] 
* Zha`an leans back against the back wall of the cage, and gives Ira 
a grin. 


<Zha`an> [Are there stairs?] 
<GM> [There is a "Fire Hazard: Stairs. Enjoy!" sign on a nearby door.] 


<Zha`an> "We want...... to leave. Is there any way to.... leave?" 
<GM> The balseraph gives Zha'an a totally SCATHING expression. A 
la Shatner, he says, "There is... a way... to... leave! The way... 
to leave! is... by... taking the flights of stairs, because... you... 
blew up... our... elevator!" 


<GM> Thalia jerks a thumb towards the info desk, then whips a phone 
out of her pocket and dials. 
<GM> Thalia says, mysteriously, "They're back." And then she hangs up. 
<GM> Thalia returns to smoking nonchalantly. 


<Elly> "Can I get you *anything*? Food? Drink? Sex?" 
* Jesse snickers. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, the last one's *tempt*ing...
but I'll settle for a cup of coffee." [winks] 
<Elly> "Good thing for you I always have coffee on the go! Otherwise, 
you might have had to just settle for sex."


* Harold|Zha`an checks his pockets for change, once he's a block or 
two away from the house. 
<GM> You have change with which to buy Stuff. 
* Harold|Zha`an checks his pockets to double check that he doesn't 
/have/ any Stuff. 


<Ambrosius> "That would put him in the midst of the Destiny angels..." 
<Elly> "Not the *midst*... just in the, um. Near vicinity." 


<Ambrosius> .oO(And they say *my* plans will get us all killed.) 


<Elly> "Especially since one of you is, you know..." she looks around 
and whispers, as if it's a naughty word, "a *balseraph*." 
<Ambrosius> ["YOU RACIST!"] 


<Elly> "Writing, performance... whatever. We've got the resources, pumpkin." 
Harold|Zha`an> "What in Hell would we do without you?" 
* Elly giggles. "Suffer?" 


<Jesse> "Woooooooooooo. ...so now what?" 
<Elly> "Now, I work my magic and usher you out with little shooing hand motions." 
* Elly makes little shooing hand motions. "Shoo. Shoo." 


<Ambrosius> "I always consider myself the epitome of classy." 
<Harold|Zha`an> [He's got Bal-hair! How can he go wrong!] 
<GM> [he can't. The hair's key.] 


<Ambrosius> "You know what would make this club better?" 
* Jesse raises an eyebrow. 
<Ambrosius> "Lesbians. Everyone loves lesbians." 


* Elly continues to 'look around'. She murmurs, "What do you want me to do?" 
<Ambrosius> "Strip down, cover yourself in honey... you know, the usual." 


From Session 9:

<Jesse> ...and lemme ping Maria while I'm looking at her. 
Jesse rolled the d666: 3 3 CD: 6 
<GM> I HATE YOU LILIM. You and MERCURIANS. SERIOUSLY. 


* Ambrosius takes a nice close seat next to Maria. "And, who are you?" 
<Maria> "...I'm Maria Wong..." 
* Ambrosius leans back in his seat. "...if it's Wong, it ain't right." 


<Maria> "...Um... so what do you guys... do?" 
<Ambrosius> .oO(We destroy annoying Soldiers of God...) "I'm a doctor. 
Like I mentioned." 


* Jesse grins. "Hey, if nothin' else, y'c'n always say the cell didn't 
work in here." [winks] 
<Maria> "Oh, I can't lie to my boss." 
<Ambrosius> [remember kids! Half-truths are even BETTER than lies!] 
<Maria> ["My cellphone didn't work in there." .oO(Because a balseraph 
told me so.)] 


<Maria> "Always have to look on the bright side..." 
* Jesse resists the urge to hum, "Always Look On The Bright Side of Death". 
There's plausible, and then there's just *giving* your real Boss away. 


<Maria> "A little. I wish I knew what we were being kept so long *for*..." 
<Dustin|Zha`an> [To be concluded when the Malakim come knocking.] 
<GM> Just then, there is a knock on the door. 
<Dustin|Zha`an> [.........I hate you so much. ^^] 


* Dustin|Zha`an tries to give Dustin's mind a good hard /shove/. 
Zha'an rolled the d666: 2 4 CD: 1 
<Dustin|Zha`an> [.....well, a kinda /nudge/, anyway.] 


* Ambrosius chats the malakim up. "So... do you both enjoy your work?" 
<GM> The worker says, something dark in his voice, "I find my work 
very enjoyable, yes." 
<Ambrosius> "Then, you must be enjoying yourself right now." 
<Dustin|Zha`an> [He's loooooooooving having three evils RIGHT HERE 
and /not/ slaying them.] 


<GM> The businessman says, "You are trying my fellow's patience. It's 
not recommended action." 
<Ambrosius> .oO(Don't try my patience... but *do* try my lovely potato 
salad...) 
<GM> [Please don't ask the Malakite to toss your salad..] 


<GM> Okay. The particular need that's different is to Get The Demon 
(who is Jesse) Redeemed. 
<Jesse> .oO(...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!)


<GM> (And now Jesse can take his leave, go out, find a nice place, 
and scream. ^^)
<Jesse> (Jesse will do that, then! ^^) 


* Ambrosius stands alone. 
<Ambrosius> ["Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand alone... my 
associate sits inside, being interrogated by two malakim..."] 


<GM> [The car is where you left it. There are no Malakim with machine guns 
that you can see hiding in the back seat.] 
<Jesse> [...AUGH!] 


* Kobal grins, uncoiling out of lotus position and stretching, lanky. "Mmm. 
I love getting back in touch with my spiritual side."


<Diamante> [hesitates] "...I don't *think* he knows more than what I look 
like and that I'm a Lilim - though he did mention 'university student'..." 
<Kobal> "You do look the part when you're not green and horny, my dear." 


<Kobal> "Go forth and multip... sorry, wrong script. Just go forth." 


<Jesse> "So, hmmm. Shall I wait here and annoy you with my attempts at 
Funniness, or shall I wait outside and freeze to death while they kill the 
environment and possibly themselves? Decisions, decisions..." 
[goes Hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'] 
<Thalia> "I'm voting freezing to death, personally." 


<Ambrosius> "Then again... we depended on Elly today, and we got locked 
in a room with Maria to be interrogated by Judgment Malakim." 
<Patricia|Zha`an> "Oh, like she coulda seen that coming." 

From Session 10:

<Ambrosius> "You don't need to worry about my ability to maintain my 
role."
<GM> [No, only AMBROSIUS needs to worry about that. ^^]


* Ambrosius talks in helltongue now. "You are being stupid and 
generally annoying for kicks, right?"


<Jesse> "...Dude, you can't get *that* joke? I mean, sure, I didn't 
use the 'I'm green, not tattooed' part after 'are you crazy' to make 
it a triple-pointer, but..."
<Ambrosius> "...Habbalah aren't crazy, they're... they're... I don't 
know. I think it's endearing."


<Ambrosius> "You never know. Judgment and the Game cooperate all the 
time."
<Patricia|Zha`an> [Shh!]
* Jesse rolls his eyes. "Rumors, man. And y'don't hear any about 
*Trade*'n'the Game."
<GM> [Trade and FREEDOM, however..]
<Jesse> [...Ssssssh! ^^]


* Ambrosius gets his cell phone out and dials Casa Loma.
* Ambrosius also pulls away from the curb.
<GM> [I fucking hate drivers who drive and talk on cells at the same 
time.]
<Ambrosius> [Amb: I'm *so* evil.]


<Thalia> "Casa Loma pizza service, your ancient castle is our pizza. 
How can I help you?"


<GM> There is a parking lot, for the purposes of parking.
<Patricia|Zha`an> [They're cool that way!]


* Merv|Zha`an shoves the cake in Todd's face.
<GM> Todd... sputters.
* Jesse raises an eyebrow at the other scene and snickers a bit. .oO
(Old jokes never die...)


* Todd|Zha`an rolls for the possess! :P
<Todd|Zha`an> [I'm going for a new record!]
<GM> [I hate you.]


* Ambrosius blinks at the dial tone. "...son of a bitch."
<GM> [Lilith: "AHEM."]
<Ambrosius> ["I call 'em as I see 'em."]


<Ambrosius> "It just doesn't adder up. And I'm not the type to 
swallow something whole. You know me, I garter do something about 
it."
<Jason|Zha`an> "Well, less tail her then."
* Ambrosius chuckles. "I was asping for that, I guess."


<Ambrosius> "Delusional? Habbalah aren't delusional..."
<GM> [BALSERAPHS are delusional!]


<Jason|Zha`an> "There's no such thing as an odd thing for a Habbalah 
to do.  Well, no - there's /reality/....."


<Ambrosius> "Were you the one orchestrating that little fight at 
Merv's, Shedite?"
<Jason|Zha`an> "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."
<Ambrosius> "That was crude, tasteless, disgusting, and offensive."
<Ambrosius> "...I loved it."


<Ambrosius> "So, who are you now, shedite?"
<Jason|Zha`an> "Jason.  I'm.  Um."
<Jason|Zha`an> "A guy who does stuff!"
<Jason|Zha`an> [Oh, the stuff I do!]


<GM> [THere looks like there's repairs being done on the Vapulan 
building.  Part of the roof is scortched and melted.]
<Ambrosius> "Hm. The remains of the battle, no doubt."
<Jason|Zha`an> "Or a breakthrough!"


<Jason|Zha`an> "See, the problem with investigating a divine tether 
is involves going into a divine tether."
<Ambrosius> "...well, since we almost ran into Marc himself today, I 
think we should skip this little visit."
<Jason|Zha`an> "Yeah, I'd say so."
<Ambrosius> "Sensible, don't you think?"
* Jason|Zha`an scratches his nose.
<Jason|Zha`an> "Makes sense."


<Ambrosius> "Yes, what say we swing around my office and check on 
things?"
<GM> [dooo iiiiiiiiiiit...]
<Jason|Zha`an> [............................you have never been more 
frightening than at this moment.]


<Ambrosius> "...I have the perfect plan."
<Jason|Zha`an> "................of course you do."
<Ambrosius> "Don't I always?"


<Rhea> "It was good to see you again, my dear."
<Rhea> .oO(As demons go, he's even tolerable!)
<Jesse> "And you, as always."
<Jesse> .oO(As Habbalah go, she's not that insane!)


<Rhea> "Ah, Balseraphs... they talk so big, when really..." [holds up 
two fingers, two inches apart]
* Jesse snickers. "Though at least they can *somewhat* 
compensate...it's not" [holds up two fingers of his right hand, same 
distance], "it's" [holds up two of the left, too, and puts 'em 
together, winking]
* Rhea grins. "Oh, I was counting them put together."


* Ambrosius wears a wide smile and waves hello.
<GM> ["...and a joke condom, and nothing else"]


<Ambrosius> "Crime? We're striving to make the world a better place 
by rooting out the degenerates, and the weak... surely that can be 
appreciated?"
<Jason|Zha`an> "I just piss people off and break stuff. ^^"


<Jesse> [Z: Hey, do *you* want a third teammate who's stuck madly 
lusting after a Habbalite for the next five days? ^^;]
<Jason|Zha`an> [Yes.  Yes I do. ^____^]


* Rhea says "And... ooo. How *large* are you?"
<Ambrosius> "How large? How *large*?! How large?!" [is repeating the 
question to make sure he understands.] "I ask... would you rather 
have your field plowed by 2 strong oxen, or 5000 chickens?"
<Rhea> "I prefer to leave chickens and oxen *out* of my field, 
actually..."


<Rhea> [Aside, to Jesse] "What did I tell you? The bigger they talk..."
<Ambrosius> "Don't talk to him! He's horrible in bed!"


<Ambrosius> "You'll get MORE pleasure from the... relief, as you put 
it.  You would. Ask anyone..."
<Rhea> "I shall ask." She turns to Jason.  "Shedite?  Would the 
Balseraph pleasure me well?"
<Jason|Zha`an> ".......I must say, I haven't had 
the.................... horror."


From Session 11: 

* Ambrosius turns back to the others. "Really! What did she want to 
hear?! That I've got the largest penis in the world?!"
<Ambrosius> "Sure, it's *true*, but I don't like telling the whole 
world..."


<Ambrosius> "Details?  ...Well, is this really the best place to 
discuss this?"
* Jesse looks around. "Well, *I* don't see anyone..."
<Ambrosius> "And the ones you don't see frequently turn out to be the 
ones that end up killing you!"


<Jason|Zha`an> "Okay.  So.  Flirting with Game-induced disaster, or 
out Funning it up with Lover-snake?"
<Ambrosius> "Neither! We're going back to Jesse's dorm and watching 
the Habbalah porn."


<Jason|Zha`an> "Besides, Jesse can't give you anything free."
<Ambrosius> "He's not giving me anything."
<Jesse> "Yes I am, I'm giving you my time, my computer, and my Habbie 
porn. ...and my cleaning bills."


<Ambrosius> "A *deceitful* Seraph is trying to fill Rhea's poor 
divine heart with pure *lies*! We can't allow this to happen... out 
of the kindness of our hearts, we must save her."


<Ambrosius> "Wait wait... this is giving me an idea..."
* Jesse twitches, reflexively.
<Ambrosius> "Oh, don't be such a baby."
<Jesse> "Hey, by now it's like...what's-his-name, Pavlov and the dog. 
Only negative!"


<Jesse> "Oh, didn't you know?" [beams] "Rhea's in the porn."
<Ambrosius> "...don't lie to me! How gullible do you think I am? 
Because I can tell you! I am not gullible!"
<Ambrosius> "...give me the keys to your dorm, or whatever I need to 
get in there."


* Jason|Zha`an gives Amber a "GIMME A BREAK" look.
* Ambrosius gives Jason a "WHICH LEG?" look.


<Jesse> "Besides, I think we're, ah, interrupting something..."
<Jason|Zha`an> "Good for her."
<Jesse> "I thought you didn't *like* that sort of thing?"
<Jason|Zha`an> "No, but she does."
<Jason|Zha`an> "And besides, if I were 'interrupted' with another 
Shedite.... I'd like to think you'd be cheering /me/ on...."


<GM> [You guys ruin ALL my violence.]
<GM> [...I mean fun.]
<GM> [FUN violence! :D]


* Ambrosius will just drive around. Polluting the Earth is still a 
little bit of evil! Take that, Flowers!


<Ambrosius> "Where is Jones? Is he making that dark, eerie silhouette 
against the office that made me think someone was lying in wait to 
devour me alive?"
<Tigron> "That'd be him, sir."


<Jason|Zha`an> ["Hello.  Thank you so much for the useful 
information.  I can't thank you enough.  Really I can't.  While we've 
been talking these last few seconds, six Malakim have been closing in 
on you.  You should be able to see them by now.  Bye!"]


From Session 12:


* Gerald|Zha`an gets up, and peers through the peephole, if there is 
one.
<GM> No peephole. Student housing.
* Gerald|Zha`an bravely opens the door.


* Ambrosius opens up the closet, steps inside, and shuts the door.
<Jesse> "..."


<Ambrosius> "I had something important to tell you both."
<Gerald|Zha`an> "You had to say it with a song?"
<Gerald|Zha`an> [Anyone?  Anyone? :P]


<Ambrosius> "And? You want to know what the joke was?"
<Gerald|Zha`an> "Nah.  Just be careful."
<Ambrosius> "I'm always careful."


<Ambrosius> "Wait wait... I just had another great idea."


<Gerald|Zha`an> "Nah, he's not so dangerous.  It's all in good Fun, 
right?"
<Ambrosius> "Of course it is! Fun is what's important, isn't it, 
Thak? Did the shedite mention he's changing his name to Thak?"


* Gerald|Zha`an loafs around, waiting for Ambrosius.
<Gerald|Zha`an> ["Loaf loaf loaf.  Loaf loaf loaf.  Loaf.   Loaf 
loaf."]


<Gerald|Zha`an> [We spend /more/ /time/ in the /doghouse/....... 
^^;;;]
<Gerald|Zha`an> [Despite being /impeccable/ Servitors! ;)]


<Zha`an> "The /threat/ I'll let my esteemed /colleague/ explain."
<Amariah> "Well, I had this idea... unfortunately, something went 
wrong, and his roommate heard the noise."
<Irony> "...Idea and noise.  Please expand these points for full 
marks."


* Irony turns, with a little tail-flip, and disappears into the main 
office. It is very quiet. Ditzy giggles.
<Zha`an> [...I wonder if Machievelli had children.]


<Amariah> "...We have Wallace's address, and the identity of a Trade 
Soldier, and a likely Fate servitor."
<Kobal> "As, my friends, did Diamante."
<Amariah> [we're doomed]


<GM> A rich, sensual female voice purrs, "Darling, respect my shoes."
<GM> There's a moment's pause, and the blood disappears from the 
carpeting.


<Zha`an> [<Lilith> KOBAL, dear, look at your COLOUR!  Are you getting 
enough sun?]


* Lilith smiles.  "You.  Your names."
<Zha`an> [We're so dead.  Have you read the "mother understands" log?  
We're very, very, very dead.]
* Lilith waits for an answer, smiling.


<Zha`an> [It kinda frightens me about how much I'm learning about how 
to /grovel/ from this game. :P]


<Zha`an> "It would grieve me, Dread Princess, if such a tragedy were 
to follow from my actions.  It would be a blow for Hell to lose so 
effective a Servitor, and a tragic blow for you to lose one of your 
own.  I found your Daugher a joy to work with, and bore her no ill 
will."


* Zha`an floats out, slowly, carefully not rudely crowding Lilith on 
his way.


* Amariah waves to Ditzy. "Hi! How are you?"
<GM> Ditzy waves back, "My face hurts from smiling!" She beams.
<Amariah> "Really! Mine too! Well, see you."


<Zha`an> [<Zha`an> Wow, no Force-stripping or ANYTHING!]
<Zha`an> [<GM> Shit, knew I forgot something...]
<Zha`an> [<Kobal> Hey, one more thing!....]


From Session 13:


* Ambrosius sighs, and takes a glance at the shedite... "Do you know 
you look how I feel?"


* Nikita|Zha`an is, btw, a high-school-aged looking girl now. ^^ 
<Ambrosius> [....oh, that changes everything!] 


<Ambrosius> "Yes, so let's go out there, and carpe diem. And 
e pluribus unum. And dulce et decorum est pro patria mori..."


<Nikita|Zha`an> "Oooh! Before I forget. I need to take pictures of 
one or the other of you with your dicks in Nikki's mouth." 
* Nikita|Zha`an nods, like she's mentally ticking off a "to do" list. 


<Ambrosius> "Why doesn't anyone believe a word I say?" 

<Ambrosius> "And him Redeeming and going to serve War or the Sword is 
laughable. Hahaha. See?"
<Nikita|Zha`an> "YOU'RE SCARED! Yes you ARE! Yes you ARE!" 

* Ambrosius shows Mel the old photograph, assuming he has it. 
* Melaine looks, assuming Am has it. 


<Ambrosius> "A non-dead Wallace is still better than a dead Wallace." 


* Melaine glances out the window. [Anyone appear to be inside, GM? 
All lights on, silhouettes in the windows, person dancing naked 
on the front lawn...] 
<GM> The lights are on in the kitchen area. No silhouettes are 
available, nor are naked dancers. 


* Ambrosius stretches. "What's the difference between a light bulb 
and a pregnant woman?" 
* Melaine gives Amber a very /dry/ look. [/total/ deadpan, flat voice, 
like he's reading a script without bothering to make an effort about 
it] "I don't know. What's the difference between a light bulb and a 
pregnant woman." 
* Ambrosius straightens his tie, observing Mel's reaction very carefully. 
"You can unscrew a light bulb." 
<Melaine> [deadpan] "I give it a two." 
<Ambrosius> "Two would be the number of jokes better than that one, 
right?" [Amb smirks.] 
<Melaine> "No, actually. Two would be the number of punchlines I've 
heard for that joke thus far."


* Melaine is really just killing time till the Shedite calls, though 
he's toying with potential Funny ideas as he drinks his cheap coffee. 
<GM> The coffee is searingly awful. But then, Melaine carves things into 
himself back home, so hey. It's life. 


* Mike|Zha`an looks around Mike's brain for anything obvious, like 
"Soldier of God" or some such. 


<Debbie> "The broken computer in the closet? Said you told him to 
take it in and to tell you he'd done like you asked..." 
<Melaine> [...oh lord.] 


<Debbie> "That was the tax people, Dr. Smith. They want to do an audit. 
Something about an error in the tax forms...?" 
<Ambrosius> "...what?" 


<Ambrosius> "Well, I welcome this kind of investigation. People have 
gotta know whether someone is a crook. I am not a crook. I've earned 
every cent I've got." 


From Session 14:


<Marc> "Jesse, I don't think I've *ever* seen a cage in... no, wait. 
There was that Mercurian of Creation who specialized in cage dancing. 
But other than that, I've never seen cages in Heaven." 


<Zha`an> {"Steve, I need to explain a few things to you."} 
<Steve> {"Um. Okay."} 
<Ambrosius> ["Dr. Jekyll? Can you hear me, Dr. Jekyll?"] 


<Steve> {"*Why* would a demon go to the University of Toronto??"} 


<Steve> {"What's she... like?"} 
<Zha`an> {"...she's a Malakite. I... "} 
<Ambrosius> ["they eat us for breakfast, and ask for seconds."] 
<GM> [<Daye> [burp]] 


* Janie|Zha`an will make a couple of circuits of the ward, and the 
surrounding halls, before giving up if he doesn't find her 
<Ambrosius> [blond... atheletic...] 
<Janie|Zha`an> [I saw her when she came to kill us. ^^] 


<Daye> "Follow me to my car, please. I'll get you to a place where 
they won't be able to find you, yes. It's all right." 
<Janie|Zha`an> [Polite angels really scare me, evil GM. ;)] 


* Zha`an is /shining/.... 
<Melaine> [Zha'an is /many/.] 
<Zha`an> [/me is /cackling/. :P] 


<Thalia> "The Lilim's Heart's broken." 
<Ambrosius> "...I could poetically elaborate on the immense dread and 
sorrow I feel over hearing that, but instead I'll just say: 'That 
really sucks.'" 


From Session 15


* Thalia points. "Go to the torture chamber. They'll fix you up with 
your new Role and Vessel there." 


<Thalia> "And he knows everything you had reported." 
<Alyssa> "They both know about the Malakite of Novalis working at North 
York Hospital, the at least corporeal description of a Seraph of 
Novalis, the identity of a Soldier of Trade, who is close to 
Wallace... Yes." 
* Thalia mutters something that sounds like 'you are so fucked'. 


<Melaine> [idly, to Alyssa] "So who are you now?"
<Alyssa> "Alyssa Bates. Movie reviewer, but only by day... by night,
 I don a patriotic leotard, thigh high, high-heeled boots, and I 
fight crime as a super-heroine." 


* Alyssa steps out of the car, locks it, and begins feeling the sensation 
of walking in high heels w/breasts for the very first time. 


* Elly hesitates, then digs out a notebook and scribbles down a number. 
"This is our Breaking News hotline." 
<Alyssa> "Breaking News hotline?" 
<Elly> "...yes. For. Breaking news." She talks slowly and clearly. 
<Melaine> [quiet, /dry/, to Alyssa] "Breaking news such as 'Kobalites 
seized by the Game', I imagine." 


<Alyssa> [...we're so pathetic, we're down to "driving around the bus 
stops and hoping we find him."] 


* Melaine glances at Wallace's house once they arrive. Car in the 
driveway? Lights on in the house? Celformed Seraphim celtic-knotting 
on the porch?] 
<GM> There is a car in the driveway. It's not dark enough out to tell 
if there's lights on. There are no copulating Seraphim in peroxyms 
of ecstacy on the porch. 


<Thalia> "You're certain she's Fate...?"
<Alyssa> "An antique shop called 'Time Passes'? And with a sleeping 
known Trade servitor as a hostage? What else could she be?" 
<Cythraul> [Serendipideath, Demon of Unfortunate and Improbable 
Coincidences] 


<GM> ["A smart demon prince would abandon this plan, so we're not 
going to, because that's what they'd expect us to do!"] 
<Alyssa> ["A female vessel! No one will expect that, which means 
they'll fully expect it! And since they fully expect it, obviously 
they'll never catch on! It's perfect!"] 


<GM> After a moment of knocking, a redhaired man in slacks and a 
sweatshirt opens the door. 
* Alyssa smiles, and doesn't block Mel's view. "Good evening sir! Have 
you ever given any thought to the Kingdom of Heaven?" 


From Session 16:

<GM> Melaine - your pants ring. 
<Melaine> [Mel, explaining: "They're Vaputech pants. 90% debugged, in 
fact - they only occasionally turn certain things certain colors I'd 
really rather they weren't."] 

<Alyssa> "So, anything we should plan for him?" 
<Alyssa> "We still have this packet of unknown white powder..." 
<Cythraul> [Your pranks have a tendency to cause Redemption, 
remember. :P] 


<Alyssa> "There were erasers in there too, but the shedite left 
them in one of its victims." 
<Alyssa> "And not in the fun way." 
<Cythraul> [Somewhere, Alice is huddled on a bed in a dirty hotel, 
fending off the little erasers that just stabbed her latest john to 
death with toothpick-spears] 


* Thalia jerks a thumb at Erik. "There's your Slut." 
<Alyssa> "Thanks for picking him out for me." 


<Erik> "What outcome /do/ we want?" 
* Melaine half-smirks. "Creativity." 
<Erik> ".....hmm. On /his/ part?" 
<Erik> "I don't tend to leave them all that creative." 
* Erik opens his trenchcoat enough to show the whip inside. 


<Erik> "I have an idea." 
<Alyssa> .oO(That's my line.) 


<Alyssa> "...A place? A place of what? Is it a place one could 
reasonably spend a great deal of writing in, without being disturbed 
by the unrelenting moans of pure orgasmic bliss?" 
<Erik> "Only his own, dear. Only his own." 
<Alyssa> "Well, then sign me up." 


<Erik> "Something with explosions would explain the lack of body - 
you can make explosions funny, right?" 
<GM> [Well, if it involves bananas...] 
<Erik> ["It was just after dark when the truck started down the hill 
that leads into Scranton, Pennsylvania / Carrying 30,000 pounds / of 
bananas..."] 


<Alyssa> "...hmm, that's interesting. 'He filled the car with jugs of 
gasoline mixed with gunpowder and drove it into the wall at 120 mph, 
with his seatbelt buckled...'" 


<Alyssa> "A masterful plan. Not at all overblown, uninteresting, 
irrational, or completely guaranteed to fail." 
* Erik smiles innocently. 
<Erik> "Why /thank/ you." 


<Alyssa> "...well, fine. I'm willing to drive blindfolded." 


* Melaine considers, then shakes his head. "I should pick up my 
laptop sometime eventually, but other than that, no." 
<Alyssa> "Laptop?" 
<Melaine> [explaining tone] "It's a kind of lightweight portable 
computer?"


<Alyssa> "Don't get caught." 


From Session 17: 


<Erik> "That would likely mean getting someone's Prince involved, 
and I know /mine/ won't want that." 
* Melaine shrugs. "He /is/, technically, involved already, isn't 
he?" [half-smirk] 
<Erik> "No, whiptouch, he's not. Neither am I. Neither, I'd imagine, 
are you." 


<Melaine> [dry] "Most of my abilities require me to give him an 
actual /emotion/, not calm him /down/..." 


<Erik> "I'm not exactly a /club/, but I'm certainly not 
a /scalpel/." 
* Erik thinks. 
<Erik> "Well, not a club /in combat/." 


<Erik> "Can you arouse him?" 
* Melaine smirks. At Alyssa. "Certainly." 
<Alyssa> [...huh?] 
<Melaine> [Remember Rhea? ^^] 
<Alyssa> [No.] 


<Alyssa> "Ever since I ran into that malakite the other day, I've 
been low on essence. So I must ask you both, to please contribute 
to the Balseraphic Essence fund. The life you save may be your own!" 


<Alyssa> "I'd think I'd have to insist on being on top..." 
* Erik looks at Alyssa thoughtfully. 
<Alyssa> "And I hope you wouldn't mind if I scream my own name..." 


<Erik> "And I'm /sure/ we can find flyers of /some/ kind /somewhere/. 
I mean, people try to practically /force/ them down your /throat/ - 
I don't see it being that hard to get them /consentually/..." 


<Alyssa> [I *so* wanted II...] 
<GM> [I wanted a DI, so fair's fair. ^^] 


<Alyssa> [is there anything interesting inside the car to suggest 
its owner? Air freshner? "I <3 Kronos" bumper sticker? Crate of 
guns and ammo?] 


<GM> The woman who was kidnapping Maria has just entered the diner. 
Apparently to purchace pastries. 


<Alyssa> "I'm not going anywhere near the Sword tether."
<Erik> "No no - at home." 
* Erik begins chuckling. 
<Erik> "Unless you'd /rather/ try and convert people /away/ from 
Catholicism at a /Sword Tether/......" 


<Alyssa> "I'm not going to do that." [leans back in her seat.] 
"Because that would be retarded." 


<Erik> "What do we /care/ about /little/ things sounding odd to him, 
if we're about to /fuck his mind 'till it bleeds *anyway*/?" 


<Alyssa> "...contrary to popular belief... I'm not omnipotent." 


Quotes from Session 18:


* Alyssa takes over Erik's car. "I'll take extra special care 
of it, Erik." 


<Alyssa> "Hmm.... did I ever tell you about the local Game servitors?" 
<Melaine> "No. /You/ didn't." 
<Alyssa> "Well, good! Let's just hope they're not living in Wallace's 
basement..." 


* Wallace scribbles. He's got a page full of messy handwriting and a 
little sketchy comic of a pair of priests draining Christ's blood into 
a winebottle on his notebook. 


* Erik stops at the corner when/if he reaches it. 
* Wallace follows like a cur scenting a bitch in heat. 


* Erik goes over to the car, and leans into the driver's window. 
* Wallace ogles Erik's ass. 


* Wallace clambers in, reaching for Erik. 
<Melaine> [Wallace: [sits on Erik's lap. Buckles himself there.]] 
<Erik> ["No, no, your /own/ seat! What if we get pulled over?] 


<Sirea> [Don't Get Caught: A game where doing what the title suggets 
will be impossible, since you'll met another Superior every five 
minutes or less, or your Essence back!] 


* Melaine is still seated at his table. His coffee is apparently 
still not quite finished. 
<Sirea> [Coffee is for the -Weak-] 
<GM> [Depends on how bad the coffee is]


* Melaine puts his notebook down and gives Kenneth an inquiring 
look. "So, what kind of painting did you have in mind?" 
<Sirea> [Something... with swords. Lots and lots and lots of 
SWORDS.] 
<Erik> [PRIDE! "....lots of Axes."] 
<Melaine> ["...Jesus didn't use a battleaxe on the moneylenders." 
"Yes he did. On the slow ones. They edited that part out of the 
King James version, see."] 

* Wallace sneakily reaches for Erik's fly again. 
Alyssa> "Hm... so, our plan?" 
<GM> ["Not to get stopped by the police on our way over."] 


<GM> [My NPC's brains are a) tapioca pudding and b) in his 
pants. Wow.]
 <Melaine> [...Are you /sure/ that's tapioca pudding in his 
pants? Ahem. ^^] 


<Erik> "A motel somewhere on the outskirts?" 
<GM> [/me wonders how you're going to sneak a Wallace in THIS 
state past ANYONE.]
 <GM> ["Uh, sirs, would you like a " wank wank wank "room?"] 
<Alair> ["Please, sirs. Not in the lobby."] 


* Wallace immediately tries to jump Erik. 
* Erik lies back on the bed, folds his hands behind his head, looks 
expectantly at the other two. 
* Wallace quite probably succeeds, then. 


* Wallace does his thing with much gusto. 
<GM> [from the verb gusto, gustare, of course.] 


<arcangel> [Get your mind out of the gutter; it's blocking my 
periscope!] 


<GM> "I will be asking the questions, if you don't mind." 
<Alyssa> [...oh FUCKSHOW....] 


<Erik> [That bitch isn't running off on us, is she! ;)] 
<GM> [In your car.] 
<Alyssa> [I'm getting HELP!] 
<arcangel> [Says the Balseraph...] 


<GM> You fail to hit the Gamester and a curb takes out one of the 
wheels, leaving it shreded. You could probably drive on the rim 
for a while, but it's awkward. 
<Erik> [My car! My beautiful, beautiful car!] 


<Alyssa> "Immediate danger! Nevertheless, as my duty to hell and the 
Lightbringer, I will spare whatever detail I can!" 
<Alyssa> [what did they say the Game servitor's name was?] 
<GM> [er. Int roll to remember, if you don't? ^^] 
Alyssa rolled the d666: 6 6 CD: 6 
<Alair> [Kobal pops up at Aly's ear. Kobal 'Bob', Ally 'Oh, right. 
Thanks', Kobal 'No problem!', disappears.] 


<GM> There's a thunderous sound of applause ringing out through the 
Symphony as a small, redhaired man in a bad suit shows up with a 
big grin, a microphone, and a camera crew. 


<Erik> [............Amariah saved the day. o_O] 
<Mel> [...you're /right/. O_o] 
<Alyssa> [as always!] 
<Erik> [...h........... he came up with suicide plan after suicide 
plan.... leakes his role all over.... got his two teammates 
REDEEMED...... and saved the day. o_O] 


<GM> Nybbas has the cameras refocus on his face. "We'll be taking 
a deeper look in this on the home front, for certain; see exactly - 
as this poor Comedian put it, high the corruption rises. Right 
after this commercial break!"